I’ve just come across an excellent article on this very subject – the link is here. It was interesting to read, as many of the words that this writer uses are also banned in my house and have been for a long time. Here’s my list (I try to keep it short so that the children remember!).
The deal is that they won’t swear and neither will I. I mostly do OK at this, although “shit” tends to be used from time to time. I’ve tried to substitute “shoot” instead but it doesn’t really fool them! I do use Spy Kids’ “shitake mushrooms” occasionally! I’ve been doing this since my then 4-year old stepson came into the room with a truck and very casually announced “the f***ing thing is broken”. A very good call for me to clean up my potty mouth!
Incidentally, my trick to help stop the children swearing? Well, actually I have two tricks! The first one is to use the word back to them, very casually, as if it didn’t mean anything and then get them to repeat it back to me, over and over. They get so embarrassed. My point is that if they don’t feel comfortable saying it to me, they shouldn’t be saying it. Technique number two is to explain exactly what the word means. This worked well with my stepson when he came out with “mother f***er” one day. Once I’d finished explaining it to him, he was so mortified he’s never used the word again.
I really feel that “hate” is a very strong word. It’s not a word I use, and I don’t like the negative connotations. It’s actually very rare that you truly hate something, so we use “don’t like”, or if they feel very strongly, “really don’t like” or in daughter number 2’s case “detest”.
This is just plain rude, no matter the tone of voice you say it in.
It’s not so much the blaspheming, it’s just that it sounds disrespectful coming out of a 5-year old’s mouth. Or an 11-year old’s. Or even an adult’s. So we don’t go there. Working on this with Master 11 and one of the Master 5’s at the moment.
Retard, loser, dumb, bad, stupid…
Basically any pejorative. I don’t want my children using these words outside the home, or about themselves, and I feel that your family should support you, not knock you. There are enough people in life who will enjoy telling you that you aren’t good enough. You don’t need it at home too. If you tell someone they are stupid enough times they will start to believe it and that is not a culture that I am prepared to accept in my family.
Those are my worst offenders. Every now and again, I will add another temporarily (“like” for instance, used as in “I was like, you know, like nearly there”).
Tune back in another time, and I’ll talk about words that I encourage the use of! I’d be keen to hear if you have banned any words from your home and if so, what they are.